1st Person Story by Jürgen
Chronology of Events
1.March 1989
March 1989
Right before I would have been done with my training as an
EDP technician, I came across a flyer which had been
distributed by Mr. Andreas Gross at CeBit Hannover, near
the Church in Hamburg. In the flyer Scientology was not
mentioned, but the free professional counseling, which I
never did receive, was. Mr. Gross was and is still an FSM
(Field Staff Member of the Church), that is, someone who
brings people in and receives 5-10% of the 'donations' (for
auditing or course fees contributed by the selectees, who
are people deemed worthy or gullible on the basis of their
wallets and/or awareness of Scientology).
For 19.80 German marks (about $12.40), he sent me the
book "Dianetics, the Modern Science of Mental Health."
This book is the Bible of the Scientologists, and is called
"Book 1" in the jargon of the Scientologists. Later it was
renamed to "Dianetics, the Road Map to Human
Understanding." I read it with interest. I talked to Andreas
Gross' wife Telse a lot on the telephone. I got along well
with her right from the start, and she always told me, "Go
down to our center." I had no idea what it was about. I had
never heard anything about Scientology or Dianetics and
wanted to find out for myself first hand.
May 1989
Soon after that I looked up the Hamburg organization
("Org" in Scientologese) all on my own. They had me fill out
a 200 item questionnaire called the "personality test", which
gave what they called an OCA curve (Oxford Capacity
Analysis ability test). Mine was sort of catastrophic, so I
automatically thought that I would really have to do
something for my soul or whatever.
I was made to see my "ruin." A staff worker from the
publicity department of Hamburg (Susi Striebel) told me that
in 5 years I would be "done for" if I didn't do something
(pay for and use Scientology). This prognosis was fulfilled in
an entirely different manner than Ms. Striebel probably
meant it. But more about that later. The OCA curve did not
move an inch when I took the test again in May, 1995.
Many before-and-after OCA curves hang on the walls of
the Hamburg Org. In my case a rise of 10% on all 10 areas
of the test showed up only after the Purification Rundown.
I'll have to say that I was not suffering from any special
ailments which I would have wanted to remove through such
a therapy as that. At the time I was not doing particularly
good or bad; it was more the search of a thirty-something
year old for sense and direction.
"Finding the ruin" happens in a similar form with almost
every new arrival. A friend of mine was also told that he
was incapable of teamwork, and would be done for in 5
years.
Finding the Ruin
Quote from the "Handbook for Scientology Dissemination":
"Dissemination Drill"
Item 1: Contact the person: this is clear and simple. It
simply means to make a personal contact with someone so
that either you approach the person or the person
approaches you.
Item 2 Handle: if the person is very open towards
Scientology and is reaching for it, this step can be skipped,
since there is nothing to handle. Handle means handling any
attack or any antagonism which the person could express
towards you and/or Scientology. Definition of "handle":
control, steer. "Handling" consists of directing a gained
ability in order to reach an immediate goal. If the person has
been handled, then:
Item 3 Save him! Definition of save: "protect from ruin."
Before you can protect someone from ruin you have to find
out what his personal ruin is. In principle this is: What is
ruining him? What is doing him in? It has to be a condition
which is real to the person or which can be made real to
them as an undesired condition.
Item 4 Bring him to an understanding: once the person is
aware of what his ruin is, bring him to the understanding that
Scientology can make the condition found in item 3 OK.
This is done by simply saying that Scientology can do it, or
by using data to show how it can be done. In this step, one
hands the person a selection slip or his business card at the
right moment and points him to the service which is needed
to make things OK, which can best be made OK. End
quote.
The path from being *"raw meat", "WOG," or Homo
Sapiens to "clear" is estimated today to take about 26
intensives (one intensive is 12.5 auditing hours for a total of
325 hours). I cannot say whether that is realistic or not. I
know of a case which has still not gotten past "Grade 0"
after about 40 intensives/500 hours of auditing.
[* "Raw meat" is a term used to denote the untainted man from the
street. WOG stands for Worthy Oriental Gentleman, which goes
back to LRH's stay in India, which was under English dominion at
the time, where WOG was used as a derogatory term for merchants.
Homo Sapiens is also used as a derogatory term in Scientology.]
"Rundowns" are a series of processes which are supposed
to lead to an "end phenomenon." Indicators are signs
exhibited by a PC which shows that a chain or a process is
complete. Comment: the auditor decides in the session
whether the indicators are categorized as good (GI's = good
indicators, VGI's are very good indicators), or bad (BI's =
bad indicators). He and he alone decides if and when the
session will end.
1.End phenomenon of Grade 0: able to speak freely with anybody
about any topic.
The "Bridge" leads to the state of "clear." What "clear" is
exactly will be discussed more later. 26 intensives at the
cost of DM 4500,- in the Hamburg Org would cost DM
117.000,- at the time (about $73,000). In addition to this
pre-calculated price (see below) a "scholarship" was
necessary, i.e., the attainment of all the academy steps, for
another DM 140.000,-. In Flag, as the center and the
headquarters of Scientology, the "Mecca" of the technology
in Clearwater, Florida, USA, you would have to
optimistically count on $155,660 for six months including
hotel costs to make "clear." But nothing was guaranteed.
Everybody is responsible for his own case.
1.Rule Nbr 1: The technology always works.
I myself received a total of 17 intensives, that is 212.5
hours, and my status on the "Bridge" was, according to the
technical evaluation of Fall, 1995: Start over again from the
bottom! The "Bridge" is the route to "clear" created by L.
Ron Hubbard (also referred to as LRH) in the 1960's, and
which he altered later on, or a sequence of rundowns
(certain blocks of auditing) which are supposed to lead to
clear and beyond. The first is the "Purification Rundown."
I've done that a total of 3 times.
Comment: "Everyone is responsible for his own case,
including you." (Astrid v. Rönn, Ethics Officer, to me in
September 1990.)
But I will proceed chronologically.
May 1989
In the Org, the first course I took was the Communications
Course, more exactly the STCC (Success Through
Communication Course), which was not a bad deal (about
$100). All the attention from the staff appealed to me. I had
the feeling somehow of belonging to a community which
strove for a really rewarding goal for the individual (clear)
and society.
Shortly before the scheduled end of my professional training
in July of 1989, Ms. Charlotte Mittendorf, who was a
"registrar" at the time (saleslady) and who is now an auditor
at the Hamburg Org, tried to talk me into discontinuing [my
training], or to get myself declared medically disabled. She
even had a doctor who could do this for me. She
emphasized that with the words, "going up the Bridge is the
most important thing in life."
The most important thing, I am convinced today however,
are the statistics of the organization, that is the GI (Gross
Income). The GI of the Hamburg Organization in summer of
1990 was running about DM 400.000,- per week (approx.
$250,000/wk), the GI of the Flag organization in Florida
about $1,600,000 weekly. The latter value is what I
personally heard from a Class 12 auditor, one of the most
highly trained auditors of the world. Comment: I know his
name. The Scientology week goes from Thursday 2 p.m. to
the next Thursday 2 p.m. That was arbitrarily determined so
that you would have a time frame in which to do everything
possible to raise your statistics, which mainly have to do
with income.
July 1989
After the conclusion of my professional education I decided
on a Purification Rundown ($1,875 / DM3000,-), which is
the first and lowest step on the so-called "Bridge to total
Freedom." The "Bridge" is a route established in the 60's by
L. Ron Hubbard (LRH) and later changed by him, or a
sequence of rundowns (definite auditing blocks) which are
supposed to lead to the state of "clear" and beyond. A
"clear" is, according to LRH, a person who no longer has a
reactive mind, that is a destructive subconscious. Somewhat
comparable with Freud's "Id" .. After that on the Bridge
comes the so-called OT steps (OT is Operating Thetan, a
being who can operate or manage without bodies).
Case gain was promised to the PC (Pre-Clear - not yet
clear, but headed that way). Explanation: a "case" is the sum
of all aberrations (comment: aberration = deviation from
standard or rational behavior) which a person has and which
keeps him from using his analytical mind to the fullest extent.
It could be a fear, depression, psychosomatic ailment or the
inability to talk to a girl (original LRH quote). "Case gain" is
therefore the condition that a person, the PC, pronounced
"peecee" = Preclear, is in when he loses one of these
suckers for all time. Anyway, that is what slick
advertisement for Scientology promised.
1. Comment:
If my tone tends to be off-color sometimes in this report,
that is not meant to be derogatory to individual PCs or
auditors. It is my way of getting over things, and
sometimes it hurts to laugh.
I took the first Purification RD, "Purif" for short, right
after my graduation to EDP technician. It lasted about
2 weeks. You went there daily for about 4 hours in the
in-house sauna at the Hamburg Org, with the aid of
massive doses of vitamins and other less precisely
known substances. I was very trusting.
End of August 1989
Shortly after the "Purif" a female staff member of the
Hamburg Org lent me about DM 4500,- / $2,800 so that I
could take the so-called "Life Repair" (can bring much
"brightness" into the PC's life -- LRH). Comment: one "can"
find this very often in the advertisements for Scientology
services. That probably means: "We are not quite sure, but
under ideal circumstances with enough money and so forth
auditing could probably attain a certain change." I paid back
the amount for "life repair" in payments. This was the
beginning of my being in debt for Scientology. Besides that I
paid Mr Gross DM 1200,- / $750 for an intensive = 12.5
hours of professional counselling.
September 1989
I received the block of 25 hours auditing for "Life Repair" in
the course of this month, for which I swung back and forth
between Hamburg and my residence in Braunschweig, and
stayed the night with friends or Scientologists when it came
to that.
September-December 1989
In the Hannover Org, at the time on Boedecker Street,
today at 2 Hubertus St., 30169 Hannover, I took a few
small courses, bought many cassettes and books, and also
experienced the pleasure of Ethics (= Judgment!) handling.
The Ethics Officer in charge (many of the military terms in
Scientology come from the history of LRH as a ship's
captain, where he liked to be called "Commodore,"
compare "drill," etc.), Mr. Kathi Runge, required that I write
down all overts - offenses in the broadest sense - since my
childhood. That goes from stealing candy and lying to your
girlfriend up to genocide, pretty much the whole spectrum.
Later on past lives were also added to that.
Note:
I don't want to say that these or similar actions have hurt me
in any kind of way. The fact is, nevertheless, that the
individual Orgs could blackmail me with these documents
when I was "excommunicated." But I'm not afraid of that. I
know of at least one case of a murder being confessed to
during an auditing session, but the auditing just continued. I
rate this secrecy, or the sanctity of confession, to which the
Church obligates itself, neither positive nor negative, but
note that very, very much trust is expected from individuals
in the church management and its agencies.
Today I do not have this trust anymore!
Note
Up until August of 1990 I freely engaged in all handling and
actions, whether it was in Ethics or the Auditing department
of Hamburg, Hannover or Flag. Not after that. See below.
1.December 1989/January 1990
December 1989/January 1990
Inspired and captivated by a certain undefined fascination, I
decided to move to Hamburg because of Scientology and
the Hamburg Org, to look for work there, and to go up the
"Bridge."
My search for work didn't last long because of my very
good qualifications as a mathematician and EDP technician.
Once I had accepted the work agreement, Mr. and Mrs.
Gross drove with me to my parents' in January, 1990, in
order to get a loan of 75,000 marks from them. This sum
was to be used as payment towards my "Bridge" at the
Hamburg Org. I had agreed with it, since I would be able to
afford 1,000 marks from my pay check after taxes and
deductions. A mortgage would be taken out on my parents'
house. I was to be responsible for the payments, which I
was.
January 1990 to June 1990
First I paid for and took 9 intensives of auditing of 12½
hours apiece at 4,500 DM (deutsch marks) each. That
means I gave DM 40,500 in about 5 months, not counting
the DM 22,300 I paid directly to Mr. Gross for the
"Academy Grades."
DM 40500,-
Explanation
Academy Grades
Academy Grades
These are the steps to the Bridge that you have to do in
order to become an auditor yourself. They consist of training
from Class 0 to Class IV auditor in the so-called academy
of the particular Org. They cannot be transferred to other
Orgs if you move or for other reasons. The
above-mentioned payment for the Academy grades made
possible the "reduced" price of DM 4,500 per intensive,
which otherwise would have cost DM 9,000 (DM 7,200
for members of the IAS.) In Flag the price is
$7,000/intensive. ($5,600 for IAS members). If one prefers
treatment by more highly trained auditors, the hopeful PC
can easily shell out $1,000 (IAS price), that's about DM
1,200 per hour!
First I paid the total amount, about DM 62,800, about as
much as an average income for 1-2 years. The promises of
the Church (see the introduction video) include that going up
the Bridge makes you more capable so that you can earn
more money so that a 6 digit sum will quickly pay for itself. I
personally know of at least one exception to this rule,
namely myself. Honestly speaking, I don't know of a single
individual in Scientology personally, outside of Flag
recruitment, who could verify this promise for me.
In some cases, in Narconon
®, a drug
rehabilitation center
owned by Scientology in Itzehoe for instance, processes
were conducted by poorly trained auditors for 12 hours until
the PC would finally get "good indicators." Hopefully he was
smart enough to pretend, otherwise he would still be going
from wall to wall and touching it. That is an actual process
known as SOP 8C in Scientology. A registrar (Annegret
Biermann) later told me that I could be happy that I had
started Scientology in the 90's.
In the early days of Scientology there were cases which had
been "overrun" by several hundred hours. That means the
process was continued on them because the auditor had
simply overlooked the EP! Naturally at the cost of the PC,
who else (100 hours auditing = DM 36,000 in the cheapest
Org at the most favorable rates from an auditor just out of
the Academy). After every session, one was queried by the
so-called examiner. That is a person who is supposed to
test whether the PC really had VGI's. That happens with the
help of the e-meter, which is supposed to give a certain read
if the session was good. The one being examined doesn't
see this indication. A piece of paper is prepared on which it
says: "VGI's, (F/N (floating needle), tone arm position 2.3
or what ever). The tone arm is the gauge of the e-meter,
which is really a refined ohmmeter, a device that measures
resistance.
That is what was always told me at the examiner's, even
when I wasn't feeling so well. The examiner doesn't ask, he
just goes with the needle position of the e-meter. I don't
know of any case where someone was sent back into
session because of bad indicators, at least not if he didn't
have any more hours on account or had no money. From
January 1990 to July 1990 I received the following at the
Hamburg Org:
Rundowns
1.Objective Processes.
According to the promises on the Grade Chart, or
the "Bridge to Total Freedom", the "end
phenomenon" of this action, which means what is
supposed to have been achieved by this Rundown, is:
"Completely oriented in the presence of the physical
(that means material) universe."
2.Scientology Drug Rundown (called SDRD from here on)
The end phenomenon of this action is "freed from the
harmful effects of drugs, medicines and alcohol."
3.PTS (Potential Trouble Source = a person who
makes trouble for the Scientology organization)
Rundown.
The end phenomenon of this action is: "A person who
will never ride the roller coaster of life again, who is
no longer subject to the "ups and downs" of life, who
will never lose their case gain (see above).
Types of PTS
Explanation of PTS: PTS = Potential Trouble Source = A
person who causes trouble for the Scientology organization.
There are 10 types of "PTS'ness":
types A-J.
Quoted from Hubbard's Policy Letter: "
[Translator's note:
PTS Type A: people intimately connected (such as
by marriage or familial relations) with people who are
known to be antagonistic to mental or spiritual
treatment or to Scientology. (...)
PTS Type B: criminals with a record. (...)
PTS Type C: people who make threats to sue, stop
or attack Scientology
PTS Type D: people who believe that others should
be responsible for their condition. (...)
PTS Type E: people who are not being auditing on
their own self-determinism (...)
PTS Type F: people who want to be audited to see
if Scientology works, e.g. newspaper reporters, etc.
(...)
PTS Type G: people who demand help for them and
their case (...)
PTS Type H: people who are open-minded to
anything (...)
PTS Type I: people who do not believe that
anybody or anything can really get better or improve.
(...)
PTS Type J: people who are sitting in judgment of
Scientology or conducting research (...)
The following events will put the attainment of these "end
phenomena" in their proper light!
End May 1990
The Senior C/S (Case Supervisor) of the Hamburg Org said
that I should get a CCRD (Clear Certainty Rundown. End
phenomenon: the PC is sure that he is clear, when he is, or if
he is not.) That means I was supposed to be tested to see if
I had already reached the state of clear. This made me very
happy, since clear is the desired state of a person in
Scientology. But the phenomenon of whether the PC sees
that he has reached this condition or not is kept confidential,
if at all possible. You have to find it out for yourself. Today I
know it is "I mock up my reactive mind myself, therefore I,
myself, am constantly creating it!" In other words: any
aberration, neuroses, etc. is simply imaginary!
So all the auditing on the "Bridge" becomes a guessing game
for many people: Am I clear or am I not? If someone has
been authorized to take the CCRD, he will do anything
imaginable to attest to clear. Perhaps he will bring 10 others
to the Bridge in order to finance the provisions of his own
Scientology career. He will take out loans until he can't get
any more, because what are human suffering and profane
bank debts good for? When we are finally clear, then,
hopefully we will be allowed to take the OT steps, if we are
wonderfully brave, ethical and filthy rich, because they are
what will bring us away, many hope, from this hateful prison
of a planet.
We will then leave our bodies, which only give us suffering,
sex and pain. I know of cases who took 4 CCRDs which
cost at least several thousand marks, if not 10,000, not even
counting the "setups", those are the auditing needed in
preparation. And they still have not attested to this state,
they couldn't play the guessing game. The deciding criterium
in Scientology is the attainment of this state, which only
Buddha (and supposedly LRH) have attained of their own
power.
That is what you need in order to finally become OT8
(Operating Thetan, see above), then you can shatter vases
from afar, raise the dead, make it snow, stop time and take
astral journeys. (Source: "OT Phenomena" in the
"Advance" magazine, Copenhagen). That what normal
people, Homo Sapiens, have always wanted to do, isn't it?
After $300,000 they are members of Club "Hurra." We
want to have nothing to do with their human necessities,
because they are, most obligingly, a Theta, a bodyless
nothing which postulates and observes. Your exchanging
your lowly, obtuse sexuality with randomness is much better
for you and for our wallet. For anything else, we can give
you a doll body. You should be rather clear about that, Mr.
Normal, otherwise you are PTS A-J, or at least a WOG!
But we cannot even laugh at you, we can only feel sorry for
you. All Scientologists in the world are working diligently
and wholeheartedly and investing very much money so that
the higher steps, OT9 and 10, will be released. LRH
supposedly developed higher steps for the "Bridge" in a
lifetime, but they are being kept locked up until humanity is
ready for them, whenever the International Management in
Los Angeles believes that this moment has arrived.
Nonetheless you can still pay up for OT9 and 10! (costs
about $10,000/step). I know a few people who have
already done that. What happens in these steps is most
extensively unclear and is kept under wraps (confidential)
because it would be boring if you already knew what it was.
In general, each PC or Pre-OT, that means someone who is
clear but not yet OT, only, may be informed of the measures
as to his own steps on the Bridge. He may not speak with
anybody under him on the Bridge about what happens "up
there." An OT2 may not tell an OT1 what happens in OT2,
etc. OT1, moreover, consists of a single process: "Go out
and spot a person!"
That is how people's hope for a higher meaning is exploited,
knowingly stimulated and precisely packed, beautifully
coupled with a desire for power and status. (I am further up
the Bridge than you!) Some turn into lone fighters on the
Bridge and approvingly accept the fact that others fall off,
then look on with regret at the vacant, departing believer.
Only he may not talk about it so loudly that anybody could
hear.
Nevertheless the OT steps are irritating for any PC on the
lower steps who has taken out a loan in the amount of 5
digits in order to climb the lower 3 steps to have his light
bulb shattered. Anybody who is not engaged in the search,
the construction and the "donations" is a WOG, that means
a hopeless case, somebody who doesn't even try (Tech
Dictionary). They continue to pay and hope. The PC who
finally passes the Clear examination has to sign that he will
keep this information secret on penalty of an SP declaration.
"You are blocking yourself out of eternity" if you do not
write up your overts, don't pay enough money for auditing,
carry information outside, etc, is the favorite threat of the
Scientologists for each other. They have a terrible fear of a
future on this "prison planet", of reincarnation, and of next
Thursday, when the statistics have to be handed in. When
things were going good, more money was demanded of me.
When things went bad for me, I was crowded out and
insulted and referred to the Ethics Department, where I was
supposed to write up my "overts" (transgressions against
Scientology), but more about that later.
June 1990
In this CCRD I was shuffled back and forth between the
Senior C/S, the auditor and the Ethics Department until I
could think of nothing else, and I had even taken 1 week's
vacation from my job. Shortly before the end of the
Rundown, A. Gross, along with the registrar, T. Reupke,
convinced me to take out another loan for 45,000 DM. I
was now almost "clear" and this condition, naturally, had to
be "stabilized."
For that reason, A. Gross drove with me to my parents. He
told them about my rotten reactive mind, which absolutely
would hold me back, even in my professional life, unless I
paid for more steps (auditing). A. Gross actually succeeded
in getting my parents to guarantee a loan in the above named
amount.
After that I had a monthly payment to mortgage interest and
building and loan premiums as loan surety in the amount of
amount DM 1,400 on a monthly wage of DM 2,800. Of
this new loan amount I paid DM 19,500 for further auditing.
On the next day I went into session, and the CCRD auditor,
Anita Stefens, told me plainly and concisely that I had not
yet attained the state of clear, but would certainly get there
soon. I was very angry and disappointed.
I stopped payment on the check I had written. I was
immediately taken into an auditing session, where they did
something so that I released payment on the check again. In
retrospect I don't actually know what exactly happened in
there. Mr. A. Gross showed his true face for the first time:
"Should I be really evil?" he asked his wife in my presence.
He demanded that I pay the entire DM 45,000 to the
Hamburg Org. That was the only way he would receive his
10% commission so he could finance his residence at the
time (see FSM policy).
At the time, from February to July, 1990, I was working as
a mathematician with an arcade game company. Looking
back now, I can only say that I was acting like I was
hypnotized by the idea of clear. I probably would have even
been willing to take out a bigger loan. Another FSM by the
name of Monika Wienicke, an OT8 from Flag, recognizing
and exploiting my dissatisfaction with the progress of things
in Hamburg, talked me into paying her about DM 12,000 to
get 25 hours of auditing and two weeks in a hotel at Flag.
Another DM 9,000 was transferred from my Hamburg
auditing account to Flag, which caused considerable bad
feelings in Hamburg. "We're not going to let you get away
from here so easily," (Ruth Maib, HGC = Hubbard
Guidance Center = Auditing Department) "They don't take
everybody." ( A.v. Rönn)
Mrs. Wienicke took the same flight as I did to Tampa. It
could be that she got a commission for that, too. I flew there
on July 18, 1990 and received 2 intensives = 25 hours of
auditing.
IN FLAG
At first I was told to write an affidavit = sworn testimony, in
which I was supposed to attest that earlier therapy had
harmed me, but that Scientology had only benefitted me.
They had a notary public there for that reason, who would
counter-sign the statement for me for free. I did that
unwillingly, but the attainment of further auditing which had
already been paid for was made dependent upon it.
After looking through my folder (documents, papers) which
I had carried myself in my suitcase, Charly Bills, the
Director of Flag HGC told me the following: The CCRD
which I had received in Hamburg was defective from
beginning to end. It had been prepared wrongly and was not
concluded. I asked whether it could be determined from the
documents available whether I was clear or not. He said,
"from THIS folder nothing can be determined at all." My
auditor would be called there very soon afterwards to Flag
for corrections.
As far as I know this has still not happened. What
happened, as I later found out, was that all the CCRD's
done in Hamburg in that time frame were reviewed = had to
be done again. Naturally at the cost of the PC's, it goes
without saying, in this case it was at my cost.
On the theme of who pays what and when, LRH said,
"
"
Comment: HCOB = Hubbard Communication Office
Bulletin = a notice from the Hubbard Communications
Office, or a notice written by LRH himself. HCOPL =
Hubbard Communication Office Policy = policy of the
Hubbard Communications Office, or an instruction written
by LRH himself about management etc.
So the entire 25 hours which I had paid for was used at
Flag in part to correct mistakes or slips which the Hamburg
Org had made. I extended my stay twice by 1 week each,
since the processes were dragging out. (This later led to the
loss of my job.) In spite of the extended stay the real CCRD
could no longer be conducted. However, I travelled back to
Hamburg in a relatively good mood in the middle of August.
I did not yet know what my bank and my employer had
already known for a long time: I had been fired.
The Collapse
August 15, 1990
After my return from Flag the following occurred: I found
out immediately upon my arrival back from Fuhlsbüttel
Airport to my place in Hamburg - Lokstedt, by phone, that
my girlfriend, also a Scientologist, was now seeing someone
else, and in writing, that my job was terminated with no
notice. I was physically very sick, had fever and pain in my
chest.
After about 3 weeks I had recovered somewhat. During this
time, Mr. Gross called me up frequently and scolded me!
It had been high "treason" to the group of Hamburg
Scientologists for me to have gone to Flag. Actually the real
treason was that I had done him out of about 2,000 DM in
commission, which Monika Wienicke had gotten. Mr.
Gross said that I myself was completely responsible for my
collapse, that would be the revenge, the "motivator" for my
conduct (literally), and would serve me right. There was
even a suitable Scientology word for my situation:
A "cave-in": mental and/or physical collapse with the result
that the individual can no longer function (or pay) on his own
(Scientology Technical Dictionary). This phenomenon
appears to belong to the world of quasi-concepts in
Scientology, but is apparently implanted and is personal bad
luck or destiny caused through one's own misconduct, as
they like to say "pulled in."
When I told Andreas Gross, who I had thought of as my
friend, that he should act his age, he answered, "You have
to be made aware of your childishness." "Without the group
you are nothing." The FSC (Flag Service Consultant)
Heidemarie said that I would have to immediately go back
to Flag. However, I was completely broke and
unemployed, had no more real friends in Scientology, if I
had ever had one to begin with, and no job. I just did not
want to realize what I know today:
If you are having difficulties and/or have no more money, no
Scientologist in the world is going to be interested in you any
more. That is what the "technology" does for you. A
Scientology motto is "punish down stat[istic]s, and reward
upstat[istic]s."
Explanation: upstats are people with a high income or much
money which they can pay to Scientology. Downstats are
people without money, the unemployed, handicapped
people and residents of the Third World. Nobody can or
wants to bother about them, at least not for the time being.
End August 1990
I hopefully looked for help in some form from the Hamburg
Org. They did not feel responsible for me. The only thing I
got was the chance to send a fax to Flag, in which I
described my situation and made a request for help. After a
few days, this was answered with the following handwritten
letter from the Flag C/S or whoever, quoted literally:
"Get your situation strengthened out, apply Ethics in your life
and report to FSO (=Flag Service Organization) as soon as
possible." (That was for 4 intensives of auditing = $21,000
was the Tech Estimate which I received 1 month later in
Flag.)
A so-called e-meter, a means of assistance in "spiritual
counseling," was was sold to me in Flag (about DM 6,000,
"you absolutely need it for your Bridge"), and I wanted to
sell it to another Scientologist (Stefan K.) so I could at least
survive for a while. We agreed on the price, and I called him
up the next day.
He told me that the Ethics Department had not approved of
his buying the e-meter because only the Church was
allowed to sell e-meters, which later proved to be
(intentional) false information.
I learned, coincidentally, that A. Gross had decided with
Stefan König that I needed a lifetime membership in the IAS
(= $2,000 = $200 for A. Gross). Naturally only to help me!
This had been decided behind my back during my absence
at Flag.
Mr. Gross was just about to go bankrupt and he needed
every penny of an FSM commission that he could get.
Somehow he had to get his 4,000 mark residence in
Hamburg 76 financed.
After I had a fit of temper with the Bookstore Officer (book
and utensil salesman) about the prohibited sale of the
e-meter and got my first taste of money-centeredness and
the presumptive arrogance of the "church," I wrote a
"Knowledge Reports" on him.
These routinely go to the Ethics Department of the individual
church. One of the Ethics Officers in Hamburg, Mrs.
Lehman, read it back to me and gave me a shock!
She designated me an "Ethics Particle" ("Ethics Bait" =
continually "unethical" person). She wrote a so-called Ethics
Order Nr. 911:
"You are prohibited from entering the Hamburg Org and
may contact only the Ethics Department of the Hamburg
Org or the one at Flag." Charlotte Mittendorf, smiling
knowingly, said my cave-in came from my own unethical
behavior and from suppression from someone or something,
PTS'ness. This was the same person who told me a month
before, "if it doesn't help you, you can shoot me!"
She said I was definitely a PTS person. I didn't have a
penny left, I was unemployed, in debt and alone, and started
having alcohol problems. Quote from L. Ron Hubbard,
"Scientology is the game in which everybody wins."
September 1990
I lived on welfare from a welfare office in Hamburg, sort of
the refuge for downstats. That is where I went to get my
sustenance money for one month (DM 500). I got my last
paycheck of DM 2,800. Between that and a loan from my
father, who did not yet know and who I did not want to
know what happened, I flew once again for 1 week in mid
September, full of hope, to Flag. I was still certain that
somebody there in the "Mecca of Technology" would be
able to solve my case.
September 12-19 '90
A few things were discussed at the Ethics Department there,
I received an hour of auditing, at the moment I couldn't
afford (pay) any more. A "Case Sort Out", that is a repair of
the mistakes had cost me $21,000 more, not to mention the
hotel charge of $500/week. The Director of Processing,
Barbara, of Flag, "you can never have enough money for
Flag!"
What came out of going to Flag, from the Ethics
Department there called P/MAA (= Master at Arms), was
only a note addressed to the appropriate Hamburg, which
said, sensibly, "be somewhat nicer to him, he is
'overstimulated'." Nobody could explain what that meant to
me, it probably meant very annoyed. This description had
been very understated. In reality I was at my wit's end. But
it got worse:
End September 1990
Still believing in the workability of the technology enough to
give me hope, I went with this note to the Hamburg
Organization. I really had belief and trust in the wisdom of
the Founder. In the Ethics Department at Hamburg, after I
came back from Flag for the 2nd time, I listened to
statements such as:
"You're not qualified for Scientology." (A. v. Rönn) "Flag
can prescribe nothing to us." (A. v. Rönn) "Get lost. 10
others are waiting." (A. v. Rönn) "You are an Overt
Product." (A. v. Rönn) Explanation: an Overt Product is an
intentionally bad or carelessly produced product, like a car
which is a lemon, where nothing works the way it should.
"You could get word clearing, but you couldn't afford it!"
(A.v. Rönn) (Word clearing in the Qualification Department,
"only" DM 175/hour!) Note: according to LRH's philosophy
all a person's problems, study or otherwise, result from
misunderstood words.
Today Mrs. von Rönn works at the Scientology agency
"Rat und Tat". [Apparently it's as funny in German as it is in
English.. trans.] I was put in the condition of "treason" in
regards to the group. The formula which must be applied for
this condition is, "Find out that you are." I would have to
work through to the next higher condition, that of "enemy",
"Find out who you really are!"; then "Doubt", "Find out who
your friends are"; "Liability," "Deal an effective blow against
the enemies of the group.."; "Non-existence," "Find out what
is needed and wanted and deliver it..."
This is described in detail in the Bible of the Scientologists,
"Introduction to Scientology Ethics."
That happens mainly by writing up "overts," which are
self-devaluations in an account of endless "What have I
done wrong's?". These are then collected by a sullen-faced
ethics officer and filed in the ethics folder, which, like the
auditing folder, you never get to see. After having done
these things for about 3-4 weeks with no result, something
inside of me gave up, because the more often I sought help
in the Hamburg Org, the worse things got.
October 1990
Completely broke, up to my ears in debt, sick and
unemployed, I moved back in with my parents in
Braunschweig.
November 1990
At the request of my father, who had detected my
resignation, we drove together to Hamburg, where Mr.
Gross and his wife were employed as FSMs, to talk with
them, so I thought, in a friendly fashion about things having
come to a standstill. At that point Mr. Gross had received
more that DM 25,000 from me, part as commission, part as
direct private payment by check for all the Academy steps
(DM 22,300). He claimed that he had "brought 100 people
in" by selling them these Academy steps in his duties for the
Hamburg Org.
He reported with a touch of pride that one of the first clients
which he himself had audited, had fallen into a deep coma,
but that went with the territory.
1.LRH: "We free Thetans"
LRH: "We free Thetans"
Instead of getting things straightened out, as I had hoped
for, I was called by Mr. Gross, in the presence of my father,
who died in April of 1995, "scum, freeloader and a bad
example of the workability of Scientology." Later on I wrote
a "Knowledge Report" about Mr. Gross' manner of
expressing himself to the highest position in the Scientology
world organization in the belief that Mr. Gross' conduct
would be regulated or at least disapproved of. But I was
wrong there. At the time, Mr. Gross belonged to the
"Upstats" and had ethics protection. In other words, if you
bring in enough people or money, or have paid enough
yourself, just about anything goes. What is even more likely,
is that KR's are used as toilet paper at International
Management, or placed in the round file. "We are a
record-breaking team, and if somebody falls into a crack in
the glacier, we can't worry about him," was one of the things
said by Mr. Gross to my father.
My parents, of course, were very concerned about my
resigned state, which was easily recognizable. No wonder,
because I had to pay over DM 1,400 in debt each month,
and did not find, despite intensive effort, a position which
met my educational qualification from 1990-92. I had to
come up with that amount monthly just to end up with a
balance of zero. Further auditing, which I still thought
necessary to get me back on my feet, was out of the
question! At the further request of my parents, there was
another meeting in the Hamburg Org in November of 1990.
This turned out to be a series of reprimands and insults
against me. Mr. Andreas Gross, Mrs. Telse Gross, Christa
Lehmann, and finally even my parents were of the belief that
I alone was to blame, and should not have gone to Flag!
FLAG: the highest spot in Scientology on earth, the
"Mecca" of technology, "the friendliest place in the world"
(quoted from the advertisement).
Dec. 14, 1990 - March 28, 1991
Because I still wanted to make things go right somehow and
be an exemplary Scientologist, I decided to enter the
"Narconon" program in Itzehoe for alcohol rehabilitation.
That lasted over 3 months at a cost of DM 120/day, for a
total of about DM 11,600, which was born for the most
part by my parents. Of the 5 people with whom I graduated
this program and who were heroin and methadone addicts, I
met 4 later at the Hamburg main train station, where they
were looking for drugs. Nevertheless the Scientology
organization ABLE
®
(Association for Better Living and
Education) cites a success rate for Narconon of 60%,
among friends a rate as high as 85% is cited! My computer
was important to me professionally, but during this time I
sold even it to salvage my financial situation and to continue
to give money to Narconon. I tried to run away from there
several times because I could no longer stand the prison-like
demeanor of a "student". However, that was just about
impossible. I was just caught again. It was like jail. The staff
from Narconon who caught me each received 1,000 points
for their statistics.
I didn't know what to do! My parents were paying for my
being there and I had no financial means whatsoever to
make any headway myself. Hardly had any friends outside
of Scientology. My perspective on life was catastrophic. I
began to think about suicide. A supposedly higher trained
Scientologist named Roland Köhn (OT5) was coming to
Narconon to audit the students. I talked to him about my
situation. But he only said, "Then you probably have not
gotten the right auditing," and laughed unkindly.
Beginning April 1991
After I had graduated from the NN program, I went back
to the Hamburg Org in the hopes of coming into the good
graces of Scientology. I had to take an "A-J" check. This is
done to see whether the PC meets one of the PTS criteria
mentioned above, which the Org can then use to justify
failed cases. Apparently something showed up on the
e-meter (a means of aiding spiritual counseling). Whatever it
was, was not shared with me. I just heard the following,
"Now you are indeed drug-free, look for a job and a place
to live. Report back here once a week, otherwise you are
banned from the building. (A.V.Rönn) She was probably
something like a Scientology probation officer for apostates.
I had to have realized at this point what was going to
happen, namely that not even the least bit of effort would be
made by anyone inside the Church to help me! Today,
backed by more recent information, I suspect that Mrs.
Wiebke Hanssen, ED (Executive Director) of the Hamburg
Org at the time and who has since turned up missing, had
given an order "get rid of him!"
However I can only assume that, because the PC is never
told what is going to happen with him. I am rather certain
(from New Era staff) that Mrs. Hansen is now to be found
in the Scientology RPF (Rehabilitation Project Force) at
RTC in Los Angeles. The RPF consists of 8 hours hard
physical work ("Mest work") daily and another 6 hours of
study. Work hours, as in the entire Sea Org: 9 a.m. to 11:30
p.m.
May 1991
The only "help," if you can call it that, came from the
naturally completely selfless Mr. A. Gross: since I still had a
balance of about DM 7,000 on the account with the Church
and about DM 10,000 on the auditing account, he
reluctantly approved the use of this money for job search
consultation. He also called himself a business consultant at
the time when I made his acquaintance, which is what he still
hides his FSM activity behind today so far as I know. For
this service he charged DM 240 plus excise tax / hour. The
amount was 'amicably' taken from my account with the
church. This procedure is even condemned by Scientology.
But the money is gone! Altogether it was over DM 10,000
that found its way over the course of time from my account
to Mr. Gross' auditing account. I was banned from the
entering the building of the Church, and Mr. Gross
transferred my money to his account for auditing hours.
What I got out of it was a new collection of advertising
documents, but otherwise nothing. To say it more clearly, I
had no other people I could turn to other than those who
had recruited me into the Scientology Church. And the
Scientology Church had banned me.
Perhaps, in the case of Mr. Gross, the word "help" would
be better replaced by the term "shameless exploitation of an
emergency situation" of a fellow human being.
The entire time - from August 1990 to May or June of 1995
- my auditing folders remained at Flag. Nobody there was a
bit worried about me except for the people who were
responsible for the collection of rising statistics. (Zoltan
Bozan, et al.)
May 1991
After graduating the Narconon program I lived in Hammer
Steindamm in Hamburg, and felt like my life was going to
end. Some days I just saw no reason for getting out of bed.
July 1991
An auditor from Flag (Conny Heath) actually came out
routinely to interview ARC-broken PC's (agreed). That
gave me a lot of hope! What happened, though, was that
she looked at me disapprovingly and advised me to do
MEST work (heavy physical work) and just forget the
events described above. I wonder if Scientology would do
that, I asked myself and heard an evil laugh.
August 1991
After that I left Hamburg and moved back to Braunschweig
with a friend who was not a Scientologist, thank God.
November 1991
I accepted a job as an EDP instructor in Sachsen.
The Events of 1992
1.January 1992
January 1992
When my parents sought help from the Hamburg Org in a
polite letter, that was viewed as if I had used an "ax against
the Church." (Mrs. Cornelia Fiedler KOT (Keeper of the
Technology (from people?))
My numerous communications to the higher positions,
including the leading Director of the Church of Scientology
International, Guillaume Lesevre, in Los Angeles, USA in
1991 and 1992 were partly answered appeasingly, partly
not answered at all. The first very long, very detailed report,
which I worked on all day to write in English, went to places
including the following:
To: Executive Director International Mr. Guillaume Lesevre
...
The answer I received from ED Int, several weeks later:
"I'm very concerned about what is going on in Hamburg
Org. This will be looked into."
Nothing happened until . . . March of 1995! (look at March
1995).
My parents had also sent letters, which were never
answered, to Mr. Lesevre. One of the people from there
told me, "He does not answer emotional letters which are
not constructive." No comment.
Summer 1992
After several further inquiries to Guillaume Lesevre,
Executive Director International, I was "permitted" to pay
for an hour of "Review Auditing" in Hannover. I will not
relate all the discouraging details of 1991-1994, but there
appears to have been a method to the madness.
The Events of 1994 - 1996
1.Summer 1994
Summer 1994
The low point of humiliation was reached when I was
served with a "Stop Service Order" (that is a bar from
obtaining services which have already been paid for).
March 1995
Perhaps my reports to Int. Management contributed to a
visit by several high-ranking Scientologists from the USA,
including Marc Jaeger, the Chairman of the Board of RTC
(Religious Technology Center) from California to the
Hamburg Organization. Apparently the gross discrepancies
(out tech) in the application of the "pure" teaching of LRH
had been noticed by others. However, this was downplayed
to the publics (paying PCs) as "we only wish to get in
'Standard Tech'!" Hamburg Org was to be made into Ron's
Org, instead of Wiebke Hanssen's. A bogeyman was found,
and everything went on its merry way...
"Putting in the Tech", whatever that is supposed to be, still
has not worked today, at least not in my case, and I don't
have the least intention of continuing to be a guinea pig for
the soul sellers at my own expense. I am past that now. In
December 1995, I left the Hamburg, as well as all other,
"churches."
The fact was, as I found out after some research, that the
management (Exec Council), under the direction of Mrs.
Wiebke Hanssen, had grossly falsified their statistics, i.e.,
income sheets, in order to make the Hamburg Org look
better in the eyes of the International Management. They
wanted to win the "game" of who audited the most PC's to
clear and brought in the accompanying income. But that may
also have been a lie. People who were dissatisfied were not
needed there and were driven off either openly or subtly.
The Org and the Scientology environment was leafletted.
These leaflets would contain "Person so-and-so is declared
to be an enemy of mankind." He would have to find out who
he really was! ([per the formula for the] condition of
'Enemy'). I wrote reports about that to International
Management, too, in 1993, in the hope that that would lead
to some help for me, finally.
Nothing happened from that point forward. Under Hitler
people had believed in the goodness of the Führer, and that
the atrocities committed by his subordinates were not being
committed in his name. "The Führer would not permit that."
But he had known everything that was happening and had
authorized it. That is similar to how I believed in the
goodness of the technology or in the competence and/or
humanity of the International Management for a long time,
and hoped for something to happen. In general I could
determine that the IAS (Internal Association of
Scientologists), or the International Management, had
developed more of a capability of delivering good
advertisement for itself than it did of delivering services or
helping its members.
End of the Terror or ...
Right at the time of the change of management in the
Hamburg Org (March 1995), my parents wrote a letter
clearly demanding "help, or our money back" to the DSA
(Department of Special Affairs, or OSA) Germany, which
was under the leadership of Franz Riedl, who is known from
his appearance on TV. As a result of that letter, there was a
meeting on March 25, 1995 in Hamburg between Mr.
Riedl, the "chaplain" of the Hamburg "church" R.
Kretzschmar, who managed a tile company (Fliesen-Rolf)
according to Scientology principles, 2 other staff of DSA,
my parents and me. My father supported me so strongly
that he was graciously offered a refund of the money which I
had paid 5 years previously to Mr. Gross of the Hamburg
Org for services in the amount of DM 22,300! At the time I
was really very thankful, and thought that now I would be
accepted back into the ranks of honorable society.
This money was converted into auditing sessions, and I still
had to pay DM 320 for the "folder transfer," or the transfer
of the folder via Delta Airlines from Flag. When it finally
came, the 37 1/2 hours of auditing, which I received
between May and October 1995, was almost used up.
Bungling, incompetent and irresponsible adequately describe
the behavior of much, surely not all, church staff. There was
certainly an effort made, even if it was a half-hearted one,
but that was not good enough in my case.
My father was very concerned about me, but believed in
Scientology for a long time. He thought "the wise people"
would direct me, and that everything else was up to me. He
had even taken a HQS (Hubbard Qualified Scientologist)
course with my mother in 1992, but had not finished it, as
they told me afterwards, partly because they found that the
exercises in it were idiotic.
In 1994 there were many meeting between my parents and
the "chaplain" of the Hamburg Church, Mr. Rolf
Kretzschmar. What exactly was said there, I don't know.
The result, in any case, was that my father would show me
places underlined in the Hubbard Scientology ethics book.
These places described the unsocial person, the
quasi-anti-Christ of Scientology, [para-phrasing] "When a
person finds out he has done too much evil ... he is doing to
do himself in unless somebody else helps him." My father
was sure that I belonged to that category. That is how staff
drive a wedge into families, and they do it completely
intentionally!
My opinion of Scientology today
For years I actually tried to find the solution by seeking to
improve the technology in that I sent reports up to the
highest places, as the people in the Third Reich had written
to the Führer. I am now convinced that nobody in the
Scientology hierarchy has the least amount of interest of
improving anything!
The sole interests of the IAS and Int Management is to
discover and promote celebrities/performers and the cases
which are running well, if there are any, to count their
money, and to discredit and discriminate against those for
whom things didn't work out. It does not fit into the world
picture of the soul pusher selling his hope if the PC does not
write his success story, but runs into massive difficulties.
They quickly find phrases and references from LRH who
confirms "it could not function at all with him." He can
receive therapy at his own expense, if he has not been
declared PTS which makes him ineligible for auditing. LRH
said that "
Junkies just off heroin who have been out of Narconon for
exactly 1 month are frantically "trained" to become E/O's,
since they don't have anywhere they can go. Such
individuals can make or break a student, and probably are
not remorseful about their decisions. Arrogance, statistics
white-washing, and cynicism characterize the gauge and
respect by which the PC (Pre-Clear, not yet clear) is
measured. I am not a guinea pig for the "new religions."
Hope in the immortality of the soul is sold in a manner
damnably reminiscent of a door-to-door salesman or street
peddler. I don't know if L. Ron Hubbard meant it that way,
or whether it is the mistake or the evil intention of an
individual. I don't feel obligated to find out.
According to what I've seen, the church (or one could
better say 'company') believes the "protection of the
technology" (KSW Series 1, Keeping Scientology
Working) is more important than the individual, money is
more important than help, and they will kill [figuratively
speaking] if they have to, in order to make themselves, the
IAS International organization and the dubious Estate of L.
Ron Hubbard right, and the individual wrong.
Departure
In November of 1995 I had the good fortune of meeting a
very educated psychologist from Berlin, with whom I had
two long discussions. He did not particularly urge me to
leave. He asked me a simple question, "If someone came to
you and told you the whole story (my Scientology story),
what would you tell him to do?" Without hesitating I told
him, "I would say Forget it!"
Epilogue
In the event that any information from my ethics or auditing
folders were to make its way to the outside world, that
would result in a claim for punitive damages against the
Church in the sum of 7 digits.
signed ... Jürgen B.
Comment
All the numbers mentioned in this report are approximate
figures, but accurate to within about 5%. All the persons
named really exist. All events happened as described. It was
neither a nightmare nor a fantasy; this is what happens in our
country everyday!
Braunschweig in August 1996
Last date of update: November 7, 1998. This translation
originated from http://cisar.org.
The name "Narconon"® is trademarked to the Scientology
organization through one of their many front groups. The name
"Scientology"® is also trademarked to the "Church"
of Scientology. Neither this web page, nor this web site, nor any of the
individuals mentioned herein assisting to educate the public about the
dangers of the Narconon scam are members of or representitives of the
Scientology organization.
If you or a loved one needs help -- real help -- there are
a number of rehabilitation programs you can contact. The real
Narcotics Anonymous organization
can get you in touch with real people who can help you.
Click [HERE] to visit Narcotics
Anonymous's web site. Narcotics Anonymous's telephone number is
1 (818) 773-9999.
Return to The NarCONon exposure's main Index page.
Forward: For a systematic, detailed, professional exposure of
Scientology's "Narconon" front group, visit the
Narconon Exposed web site.
The Whole Truth or
What really happens in Scientology
®?
2.Finding the Ruin
3.May 1989
4.July 1989
5.Comment
6.End of August 1989
7.September 1989
8.September- December 1989
2.End phenomenon of Grade 1: able to recognize the source
of problems and make them disappear.
3.End phenomenon of Grade 2: freedom from the hostilities of life.
4.End phenomenon of Grade 3: freedom from past upsets and in
the position to look to the future.
5.End phenomenon of Grade 4: brought out of fixed situations
and able to start new things.
2.Rule Nbr 2: See Rule 1.
2.January 1990 to June 1990
3.Explanation
4.End May 1990
5.June 1990
6.IN FLAG
7.The Collapse, August 15, 1990
8.End August 1990
9.September 1990
10.September 12-19 '90
11.End September 1990
12.October 1990
13.November 1990
DM 22300,-
- -----------
DM 62800,-
Rundowns
Types of PTS
2.Dec. 14, 1990 - March 28, 1991
3.Beginning April 1991
4.May 1991
5.May 1991
6.July 1991
7.August 1991
8.November 1991
2.Summer 1992
cc: International Justice Chief, Chris O. Neill
cc: Continental Justice Chief in Copenhagen
cc: RTC Reports Officer
2.March 1995
3.End of the Terror or ...
4.My opinion of Scientology today
5.Departure
6.Epilogue
7.Comment
The views and opinions stated within this web page are those of the author
or authors which wrote them and may not reflect the views and opinions of
the ISP or account user which hosts the web page. The opinions may or may
not be those of the Chairman of The Skeptic Tank.